I was working in my workshop when I said to my son "Can you go get me a ruler?"  Without missing a beat he responded "But I don't know where Mom is right now." 

I told my son he needs to earn extra money to buy more toys. He responded, "Fine, I'm going to sell my sister on Ebay."

While Grandma babysat, our son told her that "Ginger. the dog, told Mom I didn't have to be in bed untill 11," Grandma informed her grandson, "But Ginger is your dog." In all seriousness my son told her, "But she's a smart dog."

My daughter and I had the following conversation yesterday.  I asked her "Are you going to get married one day?"  To my surprise she answered, "Yes, I am marrying my brother. "  Confused I asked "But you fight with your brother all the time, why would you want to marry him?"  Looking at me like I was crazy she said, "He's the boy I know best and plus we already live together." 

I asked my son, "Why is your sister covered in Selsen Blue shampoo?" He innocently replied, "I was just trying to see if I could make her into a Smurf." 

I  don't think my daughter, Olivia, understands the whole concept of giving a gift yet.  The day after her brother's 16th birthday, I overheard him thanking his sister, with a hint of scarcasm, for the cat drawing she gave him. Olivia smiled then said "I'm glad you like it...that'll be a dollar, please."

Mom: Stop fighting with your sister.

Dominick: We're not fighting, Mommy.  We're having aggressive negotiations.