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Molly, 10 - Award Winner

 

Family

My daughter had to choose a person (dead or alive) whom she would most like to meet as the subject of her school essay. Coming from a liberal, democratic household, her natural choice was none other than... Sarah Palin. She's not even a teenager and the rebellion has already begun.
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Lani, 5 -

 

Family


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Molly, 10 - Award Winner

 

Family

Taken, verbatim, from my daughter, Molly's, "List of Things I Want To Do Before I Die": 1) Move to Jersey and become famous like Snooki  2) Be on a reality TV show 3) Donate lots of money to charity 4) Become a UN spokesperson and adopt multi cultural babies 5) Ride an elephant. 
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Anonymous, 3 -

 

Family

Recently, my 3 year old niece looked through the screen door as her daddy was headed to a fire (he was on the rescue squad team).  He had to turn his truck around to go the other way, and as he did my niece said "Bless daddy's little heart- he can't find the fire."
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Ryan & Matt, 9 - Award Winner

 

Family

My two elementary age sons, Ryan and Matt, were outside playing which usually ended with an altercation.  This time Matt threw a small rock at Ryan, and Ryan retaliated by attacking with a tube of super glue.  He squirted the super glue at Matt's eye gluing it shut.  The eye doctor said no damage had been done and the eye would eventually open.  Assuming Ryan had some remorse, I was comforted when he said he'd "take care" of his brother the next day.  Little did I know that "care" meant  setting his little brother in a chair and charging the neighborhood children admission to see Matt's eye super glued shut. I have to say, though, Ryan did split the profits with his brother.
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Micah, 7 - Award Winner

 

Family

When our son asked about two look-alike classmates at school, we told him they were probably twins. The next day, he came home from school and said in disbelief "Guess what? They are not only twins, they're also brothers."
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Mitchel, 8 - Award Winner

 

Family

I told my son he needs to earn extra money to buy more toys. He responded, "Fine, I'm going to sell my sister on Ebay."


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Jessica, 8 - Award Winner

 

Family

My niece, Jessica, was so excited about her new baby brother. She called her grandma (who had not yet seen the baby) to tell her all about him.  Her grandma asked what the new baby looked like.  She replied "Oh Grandma, he's wrinkled and bald just like Grandpa."
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Anonymous, 1 -

 

Family


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Jillian, 13 - Award Winner

 

Family

My friend found out she was having her sixth child and she and her husband called a family meeting to anounce the blessing. "Kids, we are going to have a new baby" said Dad. Everyone was quiet in receiving the news. "Do you have any questions? asked Mom. Jillian, their second child blurted out "Do we get to vote on this one?"
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Johnny, 7 -

 

Family

When Johnny was just shy of turning 2, he decided that it would be a good idea to go into the garbage can under the bathroom sink, get out a used razor, and shave his 7 month old brother's head.  Luckily no cuts or razor burn. Poor little Tony didn't have very much hair to begin with and now he had a bunch of little bald spots all over his head.
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Dave - Award Winner

 

Family

My kids were being particularly rowdy while playing. Worried someone was going to get hurt, I yelled at my son "Stop climbing on your sister or you'll get a time out." Without pausing, my son shot back at me "You're not the boss of me... Mom is."


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Dominick, 5 - Award Winner

 

Family

Mom: Stop fighting with your sister.

Dominick: We're not fighting, Mommy.  We're having aggressive negotiations.


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Eythen, 5 - Award Winner

 

Family

Eythen recently told me that he doesn't have to pick up his room.  Why, you might ask? Well, according to my son "Isn't that what Moms do? Dads build things and fix toilets. Moms clean and shop." I want to extend an apology to Eythen's future wife right now.
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