Post Funny Stories Submit
Post Funny Stories Submit
We saved the best stories for the book...Buy it here. BUY IT HERE
 
View More Posts

Hunter, 3 -

 

Lessons

When my nephew Hunter was learning his ABC flashcards, he got all but three of them right.  We always had a good laugh when the "X" flash card would come up. On one side of the flash card was a picture of an x-ray of a broken arm. Hunter would get to the card and say "X" and we would say "...is for... " and Hunter would reply "broken arm."  The R" flash card with a rabbit became "R is for bunny.  And he called he penguin "P" flash card "Happy Feet."
HontheP.com

Nicole - Award Winner

 

Lessons

Mom: Your friend shoved a CRAYON IN HIS EAR and had it removed by a doctor...I hope you learn a LESSON from that

Daughter:  WHAT COLOR was the crayon?


HontheP.com

Hailey, 16 - Award Winner

 

Lessons

My daughter, Hailey, recently recieved her drivers permit. So I decided it was time for her to practice even though I was a nervous wreck.  All was going well until she veered suddenly from the road almost going into a ditch.  Scared for my life, I yelled "What are you doing?"  Hailey replied excitedly "I didn't want to hit the kitty that was in the middle of the road."  Astonished I assured her "You mean the fluffy, flat thing, I'm pretty sure it's dead...which we will be too if you do that again."  Hopefully she learned her lesson, never try to safe something that's already dead.

HontheP.com

Caroline, 3 -

 

Lessons

Yesterday I was waiting for my wife in the parking lot of the grocery store, when a lady pulled into the spot beside me, with 3 small granddaughters in tow. The smallest one (around 3 years old) had taken her shoes off and didn't want to put them back on. Grandma told her she could wait in the car while everyone else went in, and shut the car door, leaving the little girl in her car-seat. Grandma took a step away from the door and stood there. The little girl started crying and after about 20 seconds, Grandma opened the door again. Grandma asked the little girl if she was ready to put her shoes on, to which she replied "No, cause you hurted my widdle feewings."
HontheP.com

Gretchen, 6 - Award Winner

 

Lessons

My daughter's play-date was due to arrive within the hour. She was growing impatient. Over and over she would ask if it was time yet. Finally, I led her to the clock. "When the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 1 your friend will be here" I said. Looking at me, she asked "Can't you just move the hands so it will be time?"
HontheP.com

Anonymous, 6 -

 

Lessons


HontheP.com

2nd Grade Teacher, 8 - Award Winner

 

Lessons

On a test I gave to my fourth grade class, I asked "What process is used to make water safe to drink?"  One third grader wrote "Filtration makes water safe because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep, and canoeists from the water."


HontheP.com

Izzy, 7 - Award Winner

 

Lessons

My daughter was playing with the new blocks her twin siblings got for their birthday. She was showing me the "room" she built for her barbie that she "imaginated". I asked her if she meant "imagined".  She replied sternly, "No, if you imagine it it's just in your head. I actually made this, so I "Imaginated" it."  You learn something new everyday.
HontheP.com

Anonymous -

 

Lessons

My son is a little smarty-pants. Last night at dinner he said, "The greatest number is zero."  My husband corrected him, "No, the greatest number is infinity."  Seemingly unphased, our son said, "But what's bigger than infinity?"   Dad answered, "Nothing."  Obviously pleased, our son replied "Zero is nothing, see I'm right." 
HontheP.com

Anonymous, 5 - Award Winner

 

Lessons

I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something ans ask what color it was. Her answers were always correct. It was fun for me, so I I kept doing it.  Finally, she headed to the door exhausted saying "Grandma, I think you should try to figure some of these out yourself."
HontheP.com

Jayda, 6 - Award Winner

 

Lessons

My daughter woke me late one night during a thunderstorm because she was afraid. I told her not to worry because the thunder came from God and the Angels bowling.  She replied "Oh, then the rain must be their sweat."
HontheP.com

Ben, 5 - Award Winner

 

Lessons

My son explained to me, "Godzilla isn't bad, he's just trying to make friends the wrong way."
HontheP.com

Mitch, 6 - Award Winner

 

Lessons

Son: I'm drawing a PICTURE of you 

Mom: But I have 2 EYES NOT 1 EYE AND WHER'ES MY MOUTH?

Son: Oh THAT'S NOT YOUR HEAD...It's your BOOB


HontheP.com

Nick, 3 -

 

Lessons

Russian is our 1st language, and we speak it in the house.  One day my son, Nick, really wanted to go to the children's museum, but the only person who could take him, his Dad, was feeling under the weather. Nick kept nagging so Dad said, "Nick, the children's museum is closed today."  To which Nick answered, "I know it's open."  In an attempt to prove his point, Dad picked up the phone, pretended to dial the museum and asked the imaginary museum personnel "Hi, can you tell me if the museum is closed today? Oh it is? Thank you."  He said all of this in Russian to make sure Nick would understand. A few days later, Nick turned to Dad and said, "You know Dad, you lied to me." Dad, caught by surprise stared at his son and answered, "What do you mean?" Nick stared right back and asked, "Since when do people at the children's museum speak Russian?"
HontheP.com