We were reading about sea creatures, so at the end of the book I pretended to be an octopus.  I told my preschool class "I'm an octopus and I'm going to wrap you in my tentacles."  One boy in my class became a little defensive and replied "Hey, you better watch out, or I am going to wrap my testicles around you."

At the supermarket, we saw an extremely large body builder type of guy.  Since my son was being potty trained, he was into body parts and how they functioned, especially the private ones.  So he took one look at this huge, muscular guy and said loudly "Look at that big guy, his penis must be huge."

After seeing her dad in his underwear for the first time, my two year-old daughter drew the most logical conclusion a two year-old is capable of...  leading her to ask "Did Daddy poop in the front of his pants?"

I recently asked my third grade students "What happens when a boy reaches puberty?" One of my students confidently responded "He says goodbye to boyhood and looks forward to adultery."

The other day, my daughter asked, "How did I get here?"  Knowing this day was coming I was ready and said "We took a little bit of love from me and your Mommy, mixed it all up and got you."  My daughter replied "Did you add milk?"

My daughter came up and urgently informed me of the important discovery she had just made.  She said "Daddy, did you know I have a 'gina, Sissy has a 'gina, Mama has a 'gina, and you have peanuts."