I recently asked my son "Do you want a grilled cheese?" With a look of disgust he told me, "No, I want a boy cheese." 

I was quizzing my daughter on animal sounds the other day.  I asked her "What does a kitty say?"  She responded "Meow."  Next I asked "What does a doggy say?"  She replied "Woof."  Lastly, I tried to trick her by asking "And what does a deer say?"  She exclaimed "Pow, pow!"

On a quiz, the teacher asked, "What is a fibula?" A second grader answered, "A small lie."

"Mom, you scared the crack out of me."  (Crap)

I told my son he needs to earn extra money to buy more toys. He responded, "Fine, I'm going to sell my sister on Ebay."

One of my preschooler's asked me, "Where are your miffins?"  "My miffins?" I inquired.  "Yeah miffins, you know they look like glubs?"

As I watched my 3 year old rub her nose on her sleeve, I said the typcial Mom line to my 3 year old  "Blow  your nose, you have boogers in it."  Only I got a very unexpected reply as the little devil grinned back "No I don't, I already picked them out."

I had to take my son to the Doctor last week for his yearly phyisical. As the nurse was administering the last shot, he screamed "Ow! That freaking hurts you mediocre face!"

My daughter said, "Look Dad when I put the dog bone on your head, you become a bone head."

We were sitting down at a restaurant when the waiter came up, handed menus and mentioned that they were having a special where "Children eat for .55 per year."  My son heard this and quipped "Wow that's a good deal, how much for just one night."