Son: I'm drawing a PICTURE of you 

Mom: But I have 2 EYES NOT 1 EYE AND WHER'ES MY MOUTH?

Son: Oh THAT'S NOT YOUR HEAD...It's your BOOB

"If you gave me something special, what would it be?" my son asked out of the blue one day. Thinking of all the wonderful things I could give him, I decided upon "Health, happiness, and a good life."  Looking a bit unsatisfied, my son replied "I was thinking more along the lines of a cell phone or flat screen TV."

On a test I gave to my fourth grade class, I asked "What process is used to make water safe to drink?"  One third grader wrote "Filtration makes water safe because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep, and canoeists from the water."

I told my son that brunch was a combination of breakfast and lunch. He responded, "Then I want to go to ToBuy, a combination of Toys R Us and Best Buy."

I noticed my daughter was dressed funny and told her "Honey, your pants are on backwards."   With an exasperated look, my daughter said "They aren't backwards Mom, can't you see they're onwards. 

During football season, my son participated in an office pool, and to his surprise he won.  When he came home that night and announced the good news over dinner, our son was ecstatic.  He jumped up and down saying "I can't believe this...I can't wait to go swimming in it."

I recently took my son to his first football game. Upon observing the school logo painted on the field he exclaimed "A clue, a clue!"  I said, "That isn't a Blues Clue...it's actually a paw on the football field for Clemson."  He inquired "Clemson has a clue?" And I wholeheartedly said, "Not today they don't."

My daughters and I were cleaning their room when my six year old, Laura asked "Wouldn't it be strange if I was in the bedroom than suddenly knocked on the front door?"  I said yes.  (5 minutes later there's a knock on the door) Confused, I asked "How did you get outside?" Laura nonchalantly said "I jumped out the window."  I raised my voice as I said, "Never do that again!"  Just then her little sister piped up and said, "Unless there's a fire."

After taking one look at my daughter's, Jackie's, room, I said "You need to clean your room."  With disdain she replied "No I don't, you're not my real Mom."  Confused I asked "How do you know."  With a smile Jackie said "Because my real Mom would never be that mean."