I was quizzing my daughter on animal sounds the other day.  I asked her "What does a kitty say?"  She responded "Meow."  Next I asked "What does a doggy say?"  She replied "Woof."  Lastly, I tried to trick her by asking "And what does a deer say?"  She exclaimed "Pow, pow!"

Our minister asked his students, "Who knows what a Monk is?" One of the students stated, "It's short for Chimpanzee."

Looking at our pet fish, my two year old asked in a serious tone "Eat the goldfiish...yes or no?"  I replied emphatically "No, we don't eat our pets."

Grandma: The dog has a peppermint CANDY CANE STUCK TO HER REAR

Grandaughter: At least it will TASTE GOOD when she LICKS HER BUTT

My mom said to my daughter, "I'm sorry the pigeons flew away, I'll call them back with my cell phone." My daughter replied, " Don't be silly, pigeons cant answer calls. They have no where to carry a cell phone."

At dinner, my son asked what veal was, so I told him "Veal is made from baby cows."  He responded "How sad they won't get to grow up to be hamburgers."

I was quizzing my son on animal  noises. When I said, "Cow," he said, "Moooo." When I said, "Tiger," he said, "Grrr!" When I said, "Rabbit," he said, "What's up, Doc?"

My daughter told me she can't do her homework because the cat keeps sitting on her books. I said,
"I know you're frustrated, but you can't use bad words even toward a cat."  She responded, "Fine. I won't say any naughty words in English, I'll say it in cat language. This cat is really hissing me off!"

My sister came over with her new dog, a tiny black and white spotted Chihuahua.  When she was in the other room my son whispered "She should really water her dog so it can grow bigger like it's supposed to... into a cow."

I took my daughters to Pet Smart to just look at the fish.  A sales lady walked up and asked if she could get a fish for us.  My daughter replied "Do you have any dead ones?  We kill them anyway."

When my daughter NOTICED 2 DOGS PLAY FIGHTING across the street, she said "Wow mom that BIG ONE ON TOP must be a JACK WRESTLE TERRIER (Jack Russell Terrier)