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Anonymous, 6 -

 

Bloopers

The other night I told my six year old daughter that her best friend would be spending the night on Wednesday because her Mom had a business trip to Maryland. My daughter said "Oh, what's Marilyn's last name?"
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Anonymous - Award Winner

 

Bloopers

After coming home from a Birthday party, my niece looked into her goody bag and said, "Mom, can I have a bite of my Sweet-Ass Fish?  I guess they only call it "Swedish Fish" in Sweden.


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Luke, 6 - Award Winner

 

Bloopers

My son broke his arm, and after his cast was taken off, we had to visit the orthopedist a few times to make sure it was healing properly.  When I picked my son up from school, the teacher pulled me aside to let me know he told the entire class at show and tell all about his visit to the "ortho-penis."
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Janelle & Mike, 6 - Award Winner

 

Bloopers

When my daughter wouldn't stop bothering my son, I overheard him shout at her "Leave me alone...I'm constipating." (Concentrating)
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Ellory, 2 -

 

Bloopers

Mom look it's a HELL-OF-A-COCKER  (Helicopter)
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Dax - Award Winner

 

Bloopers

My son has trouble enunciating a few words.  I was at the grocery checkout when he yelled "I want some sex!"  When he kept talking about sex and how much he liked it, I got more flustered and hurried home.  I thought my husband somehow instigated this and confronted him.  He immediately understood our son was asking for his favorite snack, Chex.

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Peter, 7 -

 

Bloopers

Peter loves playing with his pirate toy ship. I was watching him play one day when he yelled "Maties, hit the dick!"  I'm pretty sure he meant "deck."
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Israel, 2 -

 

Bloopers

When my son was two and I was pregnant with my daughter, he would go with me to the doctor appointments. One day he was talking about alligators all the way to the office. He got more and more insistent about it, and I asked him what he was talking about. He just kept saying, "take alligator."  We arrived in the lower entrance of the office, and I started to go up the stairs but he pulled on my hand, still saying "alligator, alligator." I turned to look at him and realized he was pointing at the elevator, "take alligator, mama, take alligator." I could hardly stop laughing as we took our ride in the "alligator."
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Rebecca, 6 - Award Winner

 

Bloopers

My daughter nonchalantly informed me of her aspirations in life, saying "I want to be a weather floor crapper when I grow up." I'm hoping she meant a weather forecaster.


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Patrick, 3 -

 

Bloopers

My grandchildren are fascinated by the meat eating carnivorous"Venus Fly Trap".  So when my 10 year old granddaughter came home with one, we quickly got a couple jars, and  went out back to the fig trees to catch flies. While my granddaughter had no trouble catching flies, her 3 year old brother struggled again and again, only to miss the flies. I said "Patrick I think you need a fly swatter."  He then disappeared into the house returning a few minutes later with a large tumbler full of water.  With hisi face beaming he said "Grandma, I got the flies water."
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Reed, 3 -

 

Bloopers

Reed: My favorite cars are vertical.  (Convertibles)
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Madison, 6 -

 

Bloopers

On Tuesday's in our house it's pizza and movie night. On the way to pick up the pizza from Great Alaska Pizza Company, my daughter exclaimed from the back seat "Woohoo, we're going to get pizza from Great Alaska Piece of Coffee."
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Ava, 6 - Award Winner

 

Bloopers

My husband loved reading Shakespeare. While enjoying his book one evening, our little girl, Ava, tried to get his attention. He told her he would play with her when he finished reading Shakespeare.  Not liking his answer she began pouting and went to see me in the kitchen. "What's with the sad face?" I asked.  Ava replied "Daddy can't play with me until he finishes his book about how to shake a sphere which could take forever."
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Roger, 7 -

 

Bloopers

Roger returned from school one day and asked his mother if she knew Richard Stands. She asked if that was the name of another student in his school since she had never heard the name before. Roger said they were learning the Pledge of Allegiance and at the end of it they said "and to the republic, for Richard Stands." 
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