At dinner, my son asked what veal was, so I told him "Veal is made from baby cows."  He responded "How sad they won't get to grow up to be hamburgers."

Grandma: The dog has a peppermint CANDY CANE STUCK TO HER REAR

Grandaughter: At least it will TASTE GOOD when she LICKS HER BUTT

I was quizzing my son on animal  noises. When I said, "Cow," he said, "Moooo." When I said, "Tiger," he said, "Grrr!" When I said, "Rabbit," he said, "What's up, Doc?"

I was quizzing my daughter on animal sounds the other day.  I asked her "What does a kitty say?"  She responded "Meow."  Next I asked "What does a doggy say?"  She replied "Woof."  Lastly, I tried to trick her by asking "And what does a deer say?"  She exclaimed "Pow, pow!"

My daughter told me she can't do her homework because the cat keeps sitting on her books. I said,
"I know you're frustrated, but you can't use bad words even toward a cat."  She responded, "Fine. I won't say any naughty words in English, I'll say it in cat language. This cat is really hissing me off!"

It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station.  As I gathered my equipment, my K9 partner, Jake, began barking in the back.  Nearby a little boy was staring at me when he asked "Is that a dog back there?"  I replied "It sure is."  Puzzled, the little boy looked at the back of the van then asked "What did he do?"

While busy working in the back of my dog grooming business, my daughter answered the phone.  The person on the other end asked to speak with me, and in a professional tone, I heard my daughter respond "Sorry she can't come to the phone, she's in the but right now with a client."