"Mom, you scared the crack out of me."  (Crap)

I noticed my daughter was dressed funny and told her "Honey, your pants are on backwards."   With an exasperated look, my daughter said "They aren't backwards Mom,  can't you see they're onwards. 

My daughter nonchalantly informed me of her aspirations in life, saying "I want to be a weather floor crapper when I grow up." I'm hoping she meant a weather forecaster.

My two year old son full of excitement exclaimed, "I wanna see the dina-whores now." (Dinosaurs)

Mom, I learned square dancing today...Come on let's Lemonade.  (Promenade).

At Home Depot my husband and son were looking for someone to help them.  Finally a salesperson tried to help, and my husband mumbled, "That man was as much help as a three dollar bill."  Overhearing this, our son proceeded to ask the salesman, "Mr. Salesman why are you the three dollar man?"

I noticed that the woman ahead of us in line was being a bit short with the cashier.  My daughter did, too, and said, "That woman is gonna have bad karma sutra."

My husband recently asked my son, "What is your favorite type of dog?" My son confidently replied, "A German Leopard."