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My son was getting headaches so I told him I wanted to take him to a Neurologist. Not liking doctors, he replied defiantly "I refuse to see an apologist." Believe me if I could find a doctor who could teach my son how to apologize, I'd be there in a heartbeat."
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Dylan, 9 - Illinois

Parenting Opps

Jean was watching her two younger brothers fight over the Wii controller. They were screaming really loudly. I ran into the room and asked what was going on, and Jean immediately replied, "Politics."
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Jean, 12 - New Jersey

Hall of Fame

My 3 year-old grandson spent the night, and the following morning, I woke up to see him standing there, watching me sleep. I smiled and said, "Good morning, Sweetie!" He replied,"Grandma, I know what color your eyes are." I swelled with pride at his ability to identify color and said, "Really! What color are they?" He replied," White with red cracks!"
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Anonymous, 3 - Wisconsin

Our family was staying on the 34th floor of a hotel. We were all sitting on the balcony when my sister suddenly became fascinated with a small bird perched on the railing. I asked "Why are you staring at that bird?" My sister replied "I'm trying to figure out if it took the elevator or flew up here"
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Taylor, 7 - Utah

Weird

Shannon was on a roll in Florida. As we were walking through Magic Kingdom, she saw the ice cream truck and I bought her an ice cream. She asked me why I didn't want one, so I told her that my doctor wants me to watch my weight. She responded "Come on, Mommy! Everyone in Disney World is chubby! You can be anything here!" I couldn't argue with that, so I ate an ice cream cone.
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Shannon, 10 - New Jersey

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Spencer - Michigan

Parenting Opps

My four-year-old son and I were at the beach tossing a ball back and forth that bounces on the water. Since he is so little, I try to throw it to him as much as possible. Only one time I made a slight miscalculation. My son looked at me with shock and announced to the entire beach "Mom you hit me in the Bullseye" as he pointed to his crotch.
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Matt - Georgia

Shocking

My three-year-old daughter peed on the floor in our hallway. When I asked her why she hadn't gone on the potty she looked at me as if it was obvious and replied " I had to make a pit stop."
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Skylar, 3 - South Carolina

Gross

Sebastian - Virginia

Family

I caught my youngest son, Sebastian, walking out of the kitchen strawberries in hand leaving behind him was a trail of smashed starwberries on the floor. My wife and older son were out of the house, and Sebastian was the only person in the house who ate strawberries. So I was surprised when II asked him "Who smashed the strawberries all over the floor?" And he immediately replied "Mommy."�

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Anonymous, 6 - Maine

Holidays

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9th Grade Teacher - Vermont

School

During my 34 years in education, one school incident sticks out. A high school student rushed into my office, nearly out of breath, and said "Mr. B., guess what just happened?" "I've got no idea," I replied. He then exclaimed, "My friend and I just got busted at the drug store for stealing condominiums!"

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